Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
