Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
