woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
