you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
