and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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