heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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