He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
