I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
