why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize