You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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