Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Who died my cat blue again?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize