Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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