You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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