i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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