bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
