We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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