i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
