I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
