i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
