Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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