think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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