so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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