we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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