she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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