So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize