I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
is wine microwaveable?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
