I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I AM VODKA MAN
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
