Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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