ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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