if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
