tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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