This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
