I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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