I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
