but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
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Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
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I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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