I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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