Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
