i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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