you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
