I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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