Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
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