Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
