I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
