Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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