You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
