I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
