You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
