is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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