he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
how does that bad decision feel?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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