I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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