He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
