dude i'm inner monologue high
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
