those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
