I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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