I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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