I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
