Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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